In today’s episode Anna weighs in on our conversations through the first four episodes, and brings her insight and wit to bear on subjects that matter to us as parents as well our kids.
Show Links:
Follow Gospel Tech: Online | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Andy Crouch book: The Life We’re Looking For
Jessica Smart book: Let Them Be Kids
Bark: A fantastic resource to help make the internet a more loving place for our kiddos. We’re such big fans of this resource that we’ve partnered with Bark! You can enter GospelTech10 at checkout for 10% off!
Transcription:
Purposely. Your life. God’s purpose. Listen at onpurposely.com.
Nathan: Welcome to the Gospel Tech Podcast, a resource for parents who feel overwhelmed and outpaced as they raise healthy youth in a tech world. As an educator, parent and tech user, I want to equip parents with the tools, resources, and confidence they need to raise kids who love God and use tech.
Hello everyone! Welcome to the Gospel Tech podcast. My name is Nathan Sutherland, and this podcast is dedicated to helping families love God and use tech. Today we have the special privilege and honor of having Anna on with us. Welcome Anna.
Anna: Hi!
Nathan: And we are trying to get her back on here more regularly. Yes, I understand the popular demand for having her. So, we are going to today kind of run Anna through the back-to-school conversation. So, over the last several weeks we have had conversations about how do we reset our tech, and what are three steps we can take to have healthy tech at home, and how can we help our kids talk through new tech they want and even make friends in a social media world? And Anna really doesn’t know a lot of this information. So, what I love doing is bringing her on and then asking her feedback, because she’s an amazing sounding board. So, mom’s out there prepared to be heard. But before we do, wanna thank everyone for being a part of making this podcast possible. Over the last several weeks, we’ve seen growth at a rate we haven’t seen, which is awesome, which means you are not only listening, thank you for listening, but you’re also sharing. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for telling your friends. For posting on social media. For telling people how it is encouraging you and helping you. Please keep doing that, and if you have not yet, we do ask that you leave us a rating and a review. So, just using the Apple Podcast model, you can scroll down; there’ll be five stars available in Apple podcasts. We ask for a five- star review. If it’s not five-star worthy, please send me a note, at [email protected].
I wanna make five-star worthy resources for you, and if you could leave a sentence or two that just says how this has helped you. Again, we’ve had real world examples of people reaching out saying, Hey, we found your podcast. Just from the algorithm, putting it in front of them. And it only does that when it knows people are listening, engaging, and sharing. It wants more people to find that; it being the algorithm. It’s programmed for engagement and that’s what we want to help people do. So, thank you for being a part of that. So, today, summer break first, Anna Marie… I just kind of thought we could do a high low. Like what was your high point when out of summer were in school but in reflecting back, what was a high point with the kids, specifically? Like a kid activity piece.
Anna: I feel like with having the Hadley home all the time, that’s normal. But it, it felt like a fun summer just to have them around. They were, not that they’re not always delightful, but this and maybe cuz the school was normal last year, so this felt like kind of our first summer where everyone had been in school and then we had a summer. And also, they’re old enough to like, go do things and play, but still be home and like be fun to like play water balloons with and hang out with. And It was just nice to have them around.
Nathan: Were there any hard parts for the summer?
Anna: Hmm. We are still a little bit in big kid land and one little kid land, so I feel like there’s a lot of dividing and conquering that happens, which is always a, it can be tough. And the littlest one is potty training and really just taking your sweet time.
Nathan: Potty training is stating that strong way.
Anna: She wanted to be, She asked, started asking. It’s just hard to body train.
Nathan: Yeah, it seems… we don’t, it wasn’t as hard with the boys. For some reason Hadley has like set her will against it, so
Anna: I’m trying to not react and just yeah. Be like, I don’t care that you don’t wanna go. It’s great. This is fantastic. This is fan, this is great. This is fine. Yeah, that’s, Please don’t send your comments about that. Yeah, I don’t need any feedback. That’s fine. It’ll happen. Just that was a hard part. Yeah, that was, It’s currently a hard part.
Nathan: That I would say that that is like just a mental toll throughout the days. I would, I would agree with that. The back, going back to school has been harder than I expected it to be.
Anna: Yeah. It’s always a big, We’re not, Yeah, It’s a big transition.
Nathan: It’s a big transition, which I don’t know, listeners if you love having your kids go back to school. Like, I was excited for it for the kids. We were pumped up for the first day of school. We, we get to, you know, have them go again, which is amazing. It feels like every year now we’re like, all right. Not covid again, perfect. But yeah, like the kids are just ragged and we actually have schedules that are different to the normal.
Anna: And we’re still acclimating.
Nathan: Still getting there. Which brings us to the whole back to school thing. So, we are in a series right now where I’ve just been kind of presenting these little snippets each week. So, the first one, I just wanna run you through this and what I would love to get is your just thoughts, insights, feedback. This is I guess, the time for addendum. You’re like, Yeah, you shouldn’t have said that. This would be the time for us to clear the air because I, I think they’re good when I post them, but I would love your thoughts. For a reset: first it was just like, how do we know if our tech is ready for back to school? Okay. And I did two things. I did tool and drool tech, where I laid out the tool helps us create, drool helps us consume.
Anna: Mm-hmm.
Nathan: And I added a little bit to drool tech. I don’t think we’ve actually talked this out. The way we can spot drool decision if it helps us consume, but that it has a goal other than our goal. So, being the technology has, technology has a goal. It’s been, that’s, I’ve been trying to find the words to say to parents of like, why is drool tech so different? It’s not that it’s bad, it’s not that it’s, you know spawned in like the, the fires of hell. But it, social media, video games, streaming services for shows, and music all have another goal for you. They want to engage your time, focus, and money. Okay. And so I, I try to like lay that out there. Like, just look at this tech. Does it only have the goal of doing what you wanna do or does it have another goal on top? So, you show up for entertainment, but its goal is to keep you longer, right? Like, to try to do that. Does that make sense?
Anna: It does. I’m wondering if about music is the only one that I feel like. Music is, I feel like music is so different today than it was like, in my head I’m like, well, I just buy an album and I listen to the one album, right? And then I’m. I, which I’m an old person and that’s still what I like to do. Like I want the actual album. And I just wanna listen to that one album. We are not big music people, so we’re not like just listening to whatever spotify offers us endlessly, which I think is how the kids are doing it. we kids, these days.
Nathan: I, I they’re doing that, right? And then through social media, I think there’s a bunch of listening options for them.
Anna: Okay. So, I feel like I don’t know a lot about that cuz music to me is still, like Taylor Swift’s new album comes out in the end of October. And I’m just planning on buying the album and I’ll listen to it a thousand times.
Nathan: On record. You’re planning on getting it on record?
Anna: I would like to get it on my phone so I can listen to it in the car and then I will have it on the record so we can listen to it in the. And we’ll just listen to that record on repeat. Right. But I don’t think that’s how the kids are doing it, the kids. So, I, I guess I don’t understand how it’s a, like what are they trying?
Nathan: It’s the algorithm. You, you nailed it. As soon as you add the algorithm that gives you a suggested feed and pushes you to other music that isn’t that album you like, but it’s like that. It is making money off your continued attention.
Anna: I guess I don’t understand how that works cuz we listen to Amazon. We have Amazon music. Which do we, We must pay for that. Yes. Yeah. This. There is a payment in this. We pay for that. Yeah. And then Like how do they make their money if I’m there longer?
Nathan: Well, they’re making it through monthly subscriptions. So, you’re paying a monthly thing, which is one option.
Anna: But if I don’t listen, like if I listen to one of their preset playlists, they get…
Nathan: the people get money who get the music.
Anna: The artists.
Nathan: The artists get paid by the play.
Anna: The whoever, the production, record company.
Nathan: Yes. And then the artist gets like a half of a penny play or whatever or a penny for a hundred plays. I don’t remember, it’s a lot of plays to, to equal anybody. But yes, algorithm algorithmically, it’s being driven not by your desire, but by its, and its goals to engagement. I agree that that is probably the least concerning of them all, but I think the two things are concerning. One, the spiral is still pushing you to new forms of music, not based on what you wanna listen to, but what it thinks you might like. Cuz its goal is to get you to stay longer so you can, you can run into genres and artists that you wouldn’t normally have run into, which isn’t all bad, but it’s not all good.
Anna: Yeah, sometimes I like that.
Nathan: Sure. You’ll listen to Taylor Swift though, and it pushes you to Billy Eilish, like that’s a different vibe. Still popular, Similar age demographic, similar ethnic demographic for who enjoys her music.
Anna: I always feel like I need a better music person to say that I like, but I’m trying to be honest.
Nathan: Yeah, it’s fine. It’s I, we’re just who we are here. So, yes, people, right?
Anna: I mean, I’m only listening to someone super. I don’t even important. Have a great example. Taylor Swift is awesome and important. if you had something else to say.
Nathan: Yeah, she’s a billionaire about it. Meet me in the parking lot.
Anna: Okay, so, so the other ones feel more like, I would maybe argue they are from the, making a lot of money on you staying there where I, I’m sure you could convince me about the music, but the other ones seem much more intrinsically like they are working to get you to stay, and to stay engaged and to be, And I guess music too is different for me in my head because you can be doing something else. Like music is such a, like, I’m gonna have it on while we’re doing the dish. It’s like a background thing. Right. And I could still be working or being in the car with the kids and chatting and the music is on. Where the other ones are like full engagement and I’m not doing anything else, and they are making their money on me being there.
Nathan: Can I, can I add one more argument for why it is?
Anna: Yeah.
Nathan: Okay. , I would it just because of what you said it, because it can become so ubiquitous and it takes no effort. So, this is in any crouch argument from both his book, the tech wise family and the, I always forget the name. I’m sorry. Andy Crouch. It’s like the life. We’re looking for. That’s the title. All right. The Life we’re looking for. I have multiple copies in the room with me right now. So, the life we’re looking for place, you could remember it, right? Remembering it right there. The, his premise is basically because it’s effortless, it falls into the, we can have instant like, Amusement instant distraction, instant fill the, the noise, and so, Okay. We’re not the one making it so that, that’s the only thing, but I, Okay. So, I like your point that music may not be as,
Anna: What was the question?
Nathan: Concerning, did you agree with my tool and drool outset, as we were talking about tech?
Anna: Oh, that drool tech is trying to, It has another goal. It has another purpose. Yeah. I think that’s a good way to think about it.
Nathan: Okay. And I, I love the way you teased out the music side cuz that is one that gets pushed back. And I wanna be clearer on how I communicate that. Cuz again, I’m not trying to say it’s bad. Even on social media doesn’t have to be bad. It, we could, if we had political will…
Anna: I think there’s an argument that for If you have middle schoolers. There is no research that says it’s good for your child. Oh, I’m sorry. Talking about grownups.
Nathan: No, I’m thinking it parallel universes. We have the world in two different, If the world had been designed to have social or the, Excuse me… if social media been designed to be positive, it could be. It doesn’t have to be negative. It’s because of how we make money. My example the Wall Street Journal article yesterday where TikTok gets 197 million hours of views per day. That is horrific for society. Like, TikTok is built on snippets and little bitty bitty scrolls and feeds and likes and algorithms driving people’s attention for 197 million hours a day. Whereas if it was just, What we see is like email. Email isn’t destructive to human nature.
Anna: Well, even Facebook in its original form, 20 years ago, it wasn’t somewhere you could stay for an hour and a half. No, it was a email service.
Nathan: Right. Which is why it had to be changed to make their model for money. So, all that to say, I agree. Social media parents, Let your kids not have that. We’ll get to, we’ll get, we’ll get to that actually. That’s in the friends one. That’s number four. Okay. Okay. Where, where I was taking that, those tool and drool goes through. Then the reset of how do I know if this is a problem for my child? And I just use that as the introductory conversation of look at their relationships, emotions, sleep, enjoyment, time.
Anna: Yeah, I think that’s good.
Nathan: Okay. So, then if, if that’s how we’re assessing it, then three things we can do at home. This was the second conversation we had, is common space for tech. So, we are gonna put our text somewhere public because it removes the live anonymity that we’re the only person who knows what’s happening on the internet and we can get away with stuff. And it helps both our mistakes and mistakes that are made against us become more evident. We’re more likely to catch that if our child begins crying in a public room versus in their bedroom. And so it just brings it kind of … how to say that It removes one of the barriers to like calling shame what it is, and, and bringing this stuff to light.
And then protect the sleep. Cuz no one needs a thousand dollars alarm clock, but to get the drool tech out of the room. And then the third would be to have a tech talk. And I focus specifically on let’s help our kids like, identify, and know how to deal with a bully. Okay. And so, the idea there being we need to love the bully enough to get the bully help. Bullies are at a higher risk of self-harm than even the people who are bullied. Medically speaking, they’re at a very high risk to be in a very bad spot. So, seeing that, talking about strangers and I just boiled it down, speaking to young kids saying like, Alright, just what you tell our kids that the bullies, or excuse me, strangers, adults should never ask kids for help.
Anna: Oh yeah. That was from something. Is it one of your sisters in a book?
Nathan: Oh, nice. All right. Thanks sisters. Yeah.
Anna: I think too for the bully conversation, I would say like we’re just like, your kid could be mean online. Yeah. It might be your kid. So, just maybe having that conversation of like, how are your words? How are you engaging? Like are you kind online, like you would be kind in real life? And are you saying things online that you would say, or a text, you know, whatever the platform is, right? Are you, what are your words? Are they glorifying God or are you getting to pretend like you can be somebody else and say hurtful things just because there’s a little more. A barrier there?
Nathan: How do you have that? Because a lot of the times we justify, I’ll speak for myself. I justify a comment, say that I make over the internet or one that I write up and may not post because I’m one of those people that writes it all up angrily and then deletes it. You know.
Anna: I can’t even believe you spend time in the comment. He’s told me that. I was like, Why are you even in the comments? Get out of the comments.
Nathan: exposing me here in in 4k. I Eh, be that as it may
Anna: I think when you’re talking with your kids, it doesn’t even have to be like, let, I mean maybe there’s a specific instance, but I think you could just ask the question like, are people nice? Like, do is the way you talk to your friends the same online as it is if you were talking to the person, in person? And like, and if you have your own example of that, you could share that, of how it’s hard for you, or it feels easier to be mean in a comment than it would be online. Or you might be snarkier, or you might be ghosting somebody. Like I feel like that’s a big thing, I’m sure. I feel like the tiny bit that happens as an adult can be hurtful. So, I can only imagine the ghosting that happens like to middle school and high schoolers. That could be really hurtful. So, are you, like on the receiving just to talk about those things, address that you’re ghosting or you’re getting ghosted?
Nathan: What do you mean by ghosting?
Anna: So, that somebody just goes silent on you. Okay. Right. Like you see the little dots pop up and you’re like, Oh, you’re gonna write back and then nobody does, and it’s been a week and like your friend’s not responding or you are not responding to your friend cuz you’re not wanting to deal with the conflict That right is at hand. Anyway. I think just asking those questions and talking about them like you, like you said. But that it could be your kid don’t like the bully’s, not always out there. Sometimes your kid’s, the turd. And I think what’s always important to remember that.
Nathan: We’re putting that on a t-shirt. ” Sometimes your kid’s the turd.” Hashtag Gospel Tech.
Anna: Just as a teacher at heart, I feel like there were sometimes parents who were like, My child would never do that. Like, Well, actually your kid was the worst one. So, I feel like I am trying to be aware of, as a parent that like to not believe everything my kid will, right? Like we all wanna tell the story with us looking. I was innocent.
Nathan: We, we have a child who will come to us and say, This broke, This happened to me. How did something, How did this break? It fell. How did it fall? I, There’s one more step. Rock the rock. Rock hit, Hit it. How did the rock hit it? I was swinging a bat inside the house at a rock. Like, okay, so you broke this thing.
Anna: We could have gotten there so much faster. Much faster.
Nathan: So just to remember, we have to have those conversations. I do. On the bullying side, I’ll just add this, the or I guess, emphasize that I’m not adding anything. The… Anna just checked the timer that …are we running out with our child? We 15 minutes
Oh, my goodness. All right. We have a show running right now. So, using that drool tech for, for good right now. Cuz Hadley is inside, not currently starting fires, but. All right, then I won’t add the point about bullies.
Anna: Love that point. Stay tune.
Nathan: Next point is stay tuned. And in defense of my indefensible action of being in the comments, it’s just because they’re always so inflammatory and people are horrible.
Anna: If you never read ’em, you don’t know.
Nathan: I know. It’s, it’s the Homer Simpson, like, I’m just backing through the bushes, just being like watching this thing burn to the ground. It’s not a good habit, folks. Let me confess that. Now, third, we talked about what do you do when your kids ask for new tech? And I boiled it down to three questions. The, so a kid comes home, mom, like Owen, when he came home with the smartphone in kindergarten, Hey, a kid has smartphone. Can I have one? So, first we ask, is it safe? And I gave a whole list of things to figure out if it’s safe, but basically, does it have internet? Is it drool tech? Can they access strangers or people they don’t know in real life? Like those kinds of questions just, is this a good idea for your child to have? Social media is not one. Smartphones are not one. That we, I,
Anna: those are good questions to ask.
Nathan: But just on the before even, is it like a, a good decision? Like is it safe? Like, can you justify hand to your child? Because once we do, we are saying like, this kid is trustworthy with it, and it’s a good idea for them. Second is, does it fit the family expectations? Which in our conversation with the gospel, I boiled it down to humble, kind, and curious, again, so the Ephesians 2:1-10, but can you be humble in this space? Can they be kind in this space? And will it empower them to be a healthful, kind of curious? Yeah. Or will their curiosity just scorch their retinas and scar their soul? Yeah. And then the third was as it line up with your child’s goals and purpose.
Anna: So, yeah, that’s good.
Nathan: And on that one I was trying to like; I don’t know does it leave more of your child? So, we’ve talked before about there may be situations where the tech empowers your child to be more present and lets them, or lets you, like, get in a space like right now, or we’re getting,
Anna: we are able to work because wild crowds is babysitting. Yeah. I think that question lines up, like that’s the Andy Crouch book too, of like the purpose, like what is your purpose in raising children and as a family? Like what’s the culture? I think he has big question is like, what’s the culture you’re going for to create in your home and does this tech impede that or hinder that? That let them be kids Book talks about that too. Jessica Smart was, That was a good. She is, it’s a very similar vein of conversation of just like what’s the bigger purpose and does the tech fit with that? Yeah. And I think a lot of times we don’t wanna ask those questions. Yeah. Cause it’s a little bit harder.
Nathan: Like what if it, what if my answer no? What if I look at my kid and I’m like, Well, it’s not that bad like that.
Anna: Yeah. Well, and I guess the other part of the conversation, I know, I think I’ve talked about this book before, but that coddling in the American mind. Yeah. Like the, when you meant the first question, it was like, is it safe? Like, and that book talks a lot about like, like the illusion of safety, and like that we’re trading safe. Well, safety has become like our highest goal in our culture. But what are we giving up in the name of like having safe kids? And then on the flip side of that coin is like, well the safety you’re trading when you don’t let them, we don’t want you to go in the street and like ride your bike; or like be in the backyard unsupervised cuz you might break your arm. We just want you to be safe and inside and I’m gonna put you on tech so that you’re safe, right? But. It. That’s a lie because the dangers that you’re swapping, like a broken arm for the anxiety that comes from a middle school or being on TikTok all day.
Nathan: So, it’s media constantly comparing themselves to
Anna: Yes. Like that is like, I would have 10 broken arms before I have the anxiety that comes with Social media for a teenager.
Nathan: Yeah. Broken arms healed themselves at some point, and anxiety doesn’t like we I,
Anna: So, I think we, we just have to, I, yeah. Keep those questions at the forefront.
Nathan: That’s a really good reminder on that. Which leads us then to that world of social media and having friends in the digital world. So, I set the stage with the question we get asked a lot and I get asked a lot. Every talk I go, which is or talk I give, which is simply, Isn’t the internet, Isn’t social media just the new cul-de-sac? It’s just the new neighborhood where kids are going and my kid has to go there to make friends, and to, to belong. And I I compared to j I was like, well, that could be true. Like that is where the kids are. But you need to like imagine that that cul-de-sac, you know runs adjacent to a freeway and is next to an open air penitentiary.
Anna: And there’s no mom like in the, And there’s Yeah.
Nathan: And it’s in the red-light district. Right,
Anna: Right. Like and I feel like in the cul-de-sac, like we live in a weird cul-de-sac where there aren’t kids outside
Nathan: Yes. Cause we live with a bunch of retired people. ,
Anna: theoretically. Lovely. They are wonderful. We just don’t have. It’s a interesting situation anyway, but I feel like in the cul-de-sac, like I grew up in, there were moms like, not always outside, but you knew like when I flipped over the front of my bike and we were all outside and I was bleeding, like three moms were home at the end of the street for us to run to and go, we need stitches, , something happens. Like, Yeah, so you’re not actually alone. You’re, Whereas like on social media, like there’s not parent intervention, there’s no mom like listening with half or mom or dad or whatever. A grown up listening with half an ear to hear the conversation and be like, You guys can figure this one out on your own. Or this is where I need to come intervene and we need to coach you through what was just happening here. Yeah. Not that you are like helicopter parenting, but I feel like it really is just eliminated when they’re online.
Nathan: Right. Which this would be a lovely time for an aside on that. So, parents, when you give your child a smartphone, if you give them access to the internet and a social media, you have to give them that accountability and that loving support. Not doing that because it costs money. I get, that’s pushback I get sometimes is, well, that, that’s just more money each month, is like arguing you’re trying to save money on your car by not getting seat belts put in. Like it’s just not a good decision. If you’re getting the one thing, you have to get the other funny argument, it, it, but it, it, it, I understand it. We’re paying a lot for our monthly plan. We’re paying a lot for this phone. Now I have to pay another, you know, X amount each month in order to have this other thing. Like, I don’t want to, and just know parents, that that’s not as, if we’re jumping in, we have to jump all the way and that includes it. So, Bark is the group we just partnered with as of this week. Starting next week, I’ll be able to tell you a code where you’ll get, you’ll get a discount for, for using gospel text’s name. But we are partnering with Bark because it’s a group i, you’ve heard me mention them before. I really believe in their resource. It does not spy or break digital trust, but they do an amazing job of giving you conversation points. They bring up not just concerning image reports, but concerning searches, and concerning messages sent to your kids. So, Bark, you’ll hear their name more. I’m excited that that resource is gonna be more available to our listeners and yeah. Use it if your kid has earned that opportunity.
Which brings me to this friend part. So, here’s where I went with the social media. So, that’s the crazy cul-de-sac we’re sending our kids into on social media. Uh huh is, it’s the digital world. No adults. I gave him four things. Specifically, I locked into friends, so I asked how can we make a friend? How can you be a friend? How do you know if someone is a friend and how do we keep a friend? Okay. A lot of friends there. But the, the premise I started with how do you make a friend? I just said, Be the kind of friend you want to be or you want to have, and that way, cuz I found, especially working with middle schoolers when I tell them that, They go to someone who’s also looking for a friend and are that person. So, if we just keep waiting for the friend to show up and we have our little checklist, like this is what I’m looking for in a friend. Like two people could be sitting with a checklist, but they could actually be friends to one another.
Anna: Well, I guess you have to add to that. You have to initiate friendship, lot of the thing.
Nathan: And I think you’re go be that friend.
Anna: You Right. And you have to your kid, and to teach our kids like you’re gonna have to ask a lot of times. And it doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad if a friend says no to coming over. They don’t wanna play. Like, to try and to learn to not take that personally. Yeah. But that’s a life skill of life is hard. Yeah.
Nathan: We had to do that. Our whole life never feels our life.
Anna: It never is fun to be the initiator, but I feel like there’s always different seasons where, to look for the lonely person. Look for the person who’s by themselves. Look for somebody who is playing something that you like to do and to go ask if they wanna play. I feel like we’re working on that. We just had all these talks last week of like, remember, how do you say your name and ask what their name is and you say eye contact, make eye contact and ask if they wanna come play with you. And Yeah, I think, yeah, to, like, you have to go first to get a friend.
Nathan: And to know if someone, like, how can I know if this person is my friend? Other than just, we’re in the same spot a lot. I, I chose love, respect, and boundaries as the three. So, love is, are you choosing their highest good and do they choose yours? Mm-hmm. Respect being, do you treat each other like equals? That can come down to as simply as like who picks what happens? And are you both on board with that person picking? Like if one day you want to pick, do they let you like, or is that, And when you talk about that, are they respectful and loving? And then the third would be boundaries. Do you have the expectation that you’re going to walk away at some point to go sleep or eat or be with other friends and you guys will still be friends? Like is that set up? Cuz you get these weirdly co-dependent, especially in the digital world. Like, Oh yeah, we’re around each other all the time. We’re always on our discord. It’s on all day long at school. Like, okay, if you got off the discord, would those people know that you’re still their friend or are is there this, like, if you’re not around me at all times, we’re not friends. And that then ruins the respect and the love side. And I’ll, I’ll just end on this one. The how to keep a friend. I said, we have to invest time. And then this is where the high lows came in, where the bonus episode shares the stories like we Oh, sure. The friends being present, how being present matters is like this. So, time, sunshine, and then watering is just the silly consistency. And I guess I feel like the internet, while it makes it feel like people are more available, it almost makes it so you have to be more scheduled. Like, we’ll meet for a Zoom call, or I’ll find you on social media, and just the bumping into each other conversations that happen.
Anna: Yeah. I don’t know how that works for kids as much. I feel like the other part of the friend conversation, Is a helpful one. I don’t know. I feel like a, I had a coach tell us this when we were in high school of like, there’s also seasonal friendships. Yeah. And that’s an okay thing too. Like you have seasons of life where you’re gonna walk with people and like, like I had my gals that I coached track with, and I only saw them when I coached track. And it was great. And there were no hard feelings of like, I didn’t see you the rest of the year, but for these three months we hung out and it was really fun. Yeah. And they’re still friends and love them. Great. And then you have a couple friends who hopefully will be your friends for your whole life, or like get to walk with them for longer season. But not everybody you meet is gonna be that friend that you walk through 10 years with. Right. Right. Like, so to have those expectations of like, not every kid on the playground needs to be your, That’s okay that this kid is just a kid you play kickball with at recess. Right. That’s a good, And this one is one that we’re gonna be family friends and we’ll get to do more with them. Or have this kid over and to have different expectations.
Nathan: Yeah. For, and even those can bloom over years, right? Yeah. Like I had friends in like some of these middle school, junior high friends, I have like, they’ve bloomed in later years. Like we weren’t the best of friends in junior high. And now some of them we were, but several of them, like, we’re way better friends now as adults, Right, than we ever were as kids. So, That’s, Thank you for, for your insights on that.
With that everyone, we are gonna go save our child. But thank you guys for being a part of this conversation today. I hope it was encouraging in hearing some of Anna’s amazing insights and also kind of getting this reflect reflection time, reflection, time to reflect on this super important conversation of how do we prep our tech for back to school? How do we support our kiddos in this digital world? And how do we love God and use tech? So, I hope you’ll think through these, that you’ll go listen to those four episodes if you have not yet, that you will tell someone about those episodes.
If you think it’s been encouraging, if there’s someone you can think of who would be blessed by hearing it and that you would join us next week as we continue this conversation about how we can love God and use tech.
