Mark’s journey is one of learning that God doesn’t reject us when we feel like we fail, he doesn’t reject us when we make a poor decision. Instead God shows up at our lowest point and says, “You don’t have to earn my love.” When you can embrace that God loves you for you and that you don’t have to perform a certain way, everything changes.
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Mark Holland: I think what I want to do with my service here at CRISTA and KCIS, is just learning how to unify Christians. So many strange things going on in our world with the pandemic, and God has put me in such a time as this, to help with that, I hope. We’ll see what happens. Glad that Jesus is Lord, and he has, he has answers for this world, and we need him more than ever, I think, both as individuals and as a world. If Jesus isn’t real, then this world is as a goner. I want to try and make a difference through Christian radio and through my part in it.
Narrator: We’ve all experienced it. You run into a friend from the past, but there’s something different. They are changed. Maybe there is a calm, where there once was a storm. Maybe there is gentleness instead of harshness. There’s a new passion, a new life. What changed? Welcome to Brought Back To Life, a podcast where we explore stories of ordinary transformation.
Mark Holland: Hi, I’m Mark Holland been on CRISTA radio stations for a long time SPIRIT 105.3. Predominantly these days KCIS 630, also PRAISE 106.5 in my 30 plus years working on the radio stations of CRISTA. And this is kinda my story of how I was brought back to life by the Lord Jesus. Was raised not a Christian raised in a home of people who thought religion was for the cousins and for the extended family, but not so much for their burgeoning family. My mom and dad were both very talented people, but I think they felt like education was the answer. So, I was raised pretty much just to kind of make up my own mind. Kind of puts you in a room and let you figure out what you like to do. My mom was a great golfer. My dad was a great hunter and fisherman, and intellectual, and I was not really raised as a Christian. Wasn’t, didn’t go to church.
The only time I went to church. As a young person was when I was sort of dragged to church by my next-door neighbor. I wasn’t dragged, but they brought me along and I saw the flannel grams with little, little Jesus flannel grams at church. And I thought this is all fine, but I would really rather just stay home and watch johnny quest on, on television. So, as soon as my parents finally said well, have you had enough of that? And I said, yeah, I’d rather stay home. So, that was kind of my beginning, beginning stages of being exposed to Christianity from the next-door neighbor. I knew that my relatives though were very religious, but we didn’t really talk about it too much. I had an auntie Jan who was a pretty strong Christian. And I do remember at a young age being kind of aware of sin or whatever. And for the first time in my life, I was building a model, some kind of model with my cousin, and I remember throwing a fit, because it wasn’t coming together and they just kind of were quiet and let me do my thing. And I just, I, all of a sudden, I sensed, man, I’m really, I’m really a little sinner here. Maybe it was, cause I knew they were religious. So, I don’t know. It was kind of the beginnings of maybe some kind of conscious awakening.
So, I went through my, this was in the sixties and I, some of my earliest memories, a lot of TV. I remember the first episode of star Trek, and I was like four years old, and I can remember thinking, oh, I don’t want it to end. And so, I was very into imaginative things, music, not a particularly good athlete. I wouldn’t wear my glasses as a young person. So I kind of gravitated more towards art. I was really naturally good at art and sculpture. I remember even being in a sculpting class with a bunch of adults, but I was there doing sculpture. So, really growing as a young person. And like I say, very interested in movies and starting to get interested in music, but I can remember as I was watching movies and making movies as a young person, I’d make, move super eight movies with my friends. I kind of wanted to, I wanted to get into film, maybe. It was a as if I grew up that’s kind of the job I wanted people ask, what did you want to be when you grow up? And I wanted to be a special effects artist. Ray Harryhausen, animation movies and things like that. I was very into that. And I remember watching on television, the 10 commandments. The Charlton Heston movie, and I remember thinking, wow, these are the best special effects I’ve ever seen.
And I’m very impressed by that. I even remember writing it in my little, little diary back then, man, if God is real, he is really powerful. And you know, I want to, I just felt like I wanted to express that, and I thought that would be something neat to explore. So, little things like that little signposts along the way.
Grew up then got more into high school in the seventies. And again, like I said, not really into sports, so I kind of fell in with a crowd of the stoner crowd who was really into rock music. And me and a couple of friends, one of the friends was one of the ones I made monster movies with on super eight, and the other one was a bass player. And I was just very, kind of just searching got into taking drugs. Got into smoking a lot of weed and following the music of that time. And I was really into KISS. I remember the KISS, Aerosmith, those kinds of groups. And I remember one time my aunt came over to visit and she saw my room and I had KISS posters all over the walls, and she was just appalled.
So, she said, boy, let me turn you on to some Christian music. And she gave me an Evie record and I didn’t know what to think of that. So, I just said, thank you. Thank you, Auntie Lee, and just kept going along. And then I went to actually, I think it was that summer, I went to visit my aunt over in Kellogg, Idaho. When I came back, one of the stoner friends had become a Christian and I was a very threatened by this. I thought, what do you mean you become a Christian? What do you mean you’re getting rid of all your KISS records? And your Aerosmith records, and you’re just listening to Larry Norman and Christian artists like that.
I didn’t really know what to think of that. And, but it started challenging me. And that went along for a while. He would a witness to me about Jesus and he carried his Bible at school now, and I’d never really taken a position one way or the other about Jesus. I thought that, you know, kind of that’s, that’s fine for you, but not for me.
But then I remembered, I started to have lots of experiences with people who were Christians that I had not noticed before, like my employer at the time, Dave Elkins, Chevron across from Edmonds High School. He was a Christian and he was telling me about the Lord and giving me Christian books, and I remember having a discussion with him about when I was going to buy my first car, I kind of liked the El Camino or the Monte Carlo. I was kinda torn between the two vehicles and, and he told me, boy, don’t get an El Camino because those tend to have accidents because they’re light in the back. I said, okay. So, the next day I came to work, there were like 10 Monte Carlos in the parking lot at the at the Chevron. And I thought, you know, instead of thinking about, boy, that Monte Carlo is a lemon, it, somehow it spoke to me, the Lord used that to say, I care about you. I care about your safety. And I just made a real impression on me. I felt like the Lord was talking to me and leading me to get a Monte Carlo. Didn’t end up getting either one of those vehicles, but again was kind of a signpost.
I remember at Easter around this time, I was visiting my grandfather, and going back and forth about what I thought about Jesus and why was I so challenged by Jesus and my friend’s life. And I was, I was watching an Easter presentation called Jesus of Nazareth with Robert Powell is Jesus. I think that was the first year it was on back in the late seventies, and just being enamored with the person of Christ, his portrayal of Christ. And I thought, ah, this Jesus person is, is really something else. He is, he is impressive. Why am I threatened by Jesus? Because he’s, he’s kind of a hero. And at this time, I was still being really challenged by my friend, Chuck, who had become a Christian. I was had kind of graduated from KISS and those groups that I was really into more traditional British groups, like the Beatles, and the who I was really into the who.
And remember going to see the movie, Tommy. And if you’ve ever seen that movie, there’s a lot of very obvious spiritual dynamic to that movie. And I, I just felt like it was speaking to me that Jesus is the way, even though Tommy is not necessarily about Jesus, the movie in particular really brought that out, that there’s a, there’s a spiritual dimension to life. That you need to have a Messiah and a savior. Somehow through that experience, and just really getting into the who and Pete Townsend who wrote their music, the Lord really started laying him on my heart. I wish I started crying about this guy. Felt like the Lord was saying, you know, this guy is got spiritual longing, and wanting to do things spiritually, but he’s, he’s lost.
And he’s not following me and you’re doing the same thing. And so, I really felt convicted and praying for him. And around this time, late seventies, again, feeling convicted about my not following Jesus, I found out that I had the opportunity to be a part of a movie that was being filmed in Wallace, Idaho, which was near Kellogg, where a lot of my family was over there. And I was, had the opportunity to be in an extra, in a movie called heaven’s gate. I kind of ironically, the guy who was directing it, Michael Shamina who had just done the deer hunter, very popular. I think it won a number of academy awards, so that was right up my alley. I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. So, I took a couple of weeks off and journeyed to Idaho to be part of this film. And while I was there, I had a lot of late-night conversations with my aunt, auntie Lee about Jesus. And I finally just I knew that he was the way and God had softened up my heart and I prayed that night, next to my little bed there at, at her house in Kellogg, Idaho. Next day went to church, talked to the pastor, a Methodist pastor. He led me in a sinner’s prayer. I got baptized. I think that Sunday, very soon after saying the sinner’s prayer sprinkled later in life, I got dunked just to make sure, but I was committed. And all of a sudden, the Bible started making sense to me. I remember Romans 7 & 8, you know, who’s going to deliver me from this body of death?
Thanks be to the Lord Jesus Christ. It felt like the Bible was really speaking to my situation that God cared about me, and about living for him. And then on this movie set, several interesting experiences, I was almost going to get, seemed like some kids were laying weight to bust me or to rob me. And I felt like the Lord said, don’t go down that out. And I felt like he saved me. So, all this time I was talking about these things. I was meeting Mormons and different people on the set there of this movie. And later when I watched the movie, if you know anything about that movie, it was like the biggest bomb of all time to that point in Hollywood.
But it did launch my faith journey with Jesus in a big way. I became a Christian during that movie, that was the summer of 1979. And I was on my way. Went back home a changed person. Felt like I had Jesus in my life. So that first summer of 79 came home, tried to get involved in sports for the first time, my last year at high school. I was always a big kid. I, well, finally, I’m going to go out. I’m going to do something wholesome. I’m not going to do drugs. I’m going to do tackle football. Senior in high school. That’s not the first, first time taking up tackle football is not the best time to do that. And I struggled through that. It was on the JV team, even though I was a senior, and I just felt very demoralized. And boy, my new life isn’t working. So, I kind of started falling back into using weed and drinking and using marijuana. And those things didn’t seem like they instantly left. They, they had gone for a while, but I felt I was kind of getting back into it.
But now I had this, I had the Lord in my life, convicting me of this, and I was more miserable than ever. So, my first few years then as a Christian, but struggling with some of these things that had taken a hold of my life, using marijuana. And I remember I can, I can remember buying pot from my, my dealer and feeling so bad about that, that I just had to say, boy, I just, I started telling him about Jesus, you know, while I’m buying weed from him. And that was embarrassing, but I have felt like I had to kinda cut that cord. I gave him a book more than a carpenter said, I just can’t do this anymore. Read this book by Josh McDowell. It really helped me.
So again, kind of a new Christian, but prayed. And some of these things didn’t immediately change in my life and was kind of depressed about that. And I thought, well, I need to get more serious about my Christian walk, so I think I’ll go off and be a missionary. And a Christian artist that I was really enjoying at the time, Keith Green had a real impact on my life. And that was, and he died tragically in a plane crash. And, but his last message was, you need to, you need to go be a missionary. If you need to call to stay, to stay home, otherwise you should be a missionary. So, I thought me and Chuck again, this this friend who’d become a Christian, we decided to go off to youth with a mission together. And we went to youth with the mission in Tacoma. And then I went off to Japan for our outreach. And that really opened my eyes up to that god is not an American, and I just loved the experience. Met all kinds of Christians throughout the world.
And a very strange time though, in Japan, because I was very interested in the culture, but they were doing something right in their culture. They seem to function pretty well compared to America. You could ride the subway at night and not be worried about getting mugged, or you could buy beer in a vending machine. You know, they weren’t worried about kids getting into that, in that culture. So I was a bit disillusioned. Obviously, they have other problems that we don’t have, but came home from YWAM kinda dejected and felt like I was a failure, because I couldn’t cut it in Japan. Mainly another thing, youth with a mission, why wham stands for, youth without any money. I didn’t, I didn’t have enough support to stay on the mission field, but I felt like a failure. I’d left My mission prematurely and I got so depressed about it. I drank again, I didn’t use weed, but I started trying to apply that, trying to get away from things with drinking.
And I got in a car. My dad, when I got home, unfortunately bought me a car called a Dodge demon. So, I got in his car and after drinking a lot of beer, went on a joy ride. Fortunately, didn’t wreck or anything, but I, I pulled off the side of the road, kind of blacked out, I think. And I was up near Stanwood, somewhere off the side of the road, off I-5 and the car I was in somehow caught fire. And I still think maybe it was angels who pulled me out of that vehicle, sitting on the side of the road, because I was pulled out just in time. The car caught flames and burnt. I still have my plastic glasses I was wearing at the time, melted. So, that was a real testimony to me that God wasn’t going to let me die that way, feeling like I was a failure. And I think what I, the Lord was teaching me in those first years, and even to this day, is you don’t have to earn my love, Mark. You know, I love you just the way you are. That takes a while to learn in your life. And it certainly has been part of my journey, is just letting God love me, knowing that he cares about me regardless of performance.
Interesting side note, when I in detention for about a week because of the DUI, I was once again, trying to tell people about Jesus. My roommate in particular told them about the Lord, and we had a lot of long conversations. And then a few years later, he called me at a low point in my life again, ironically and said, you know, those conversations we had about the Lord? I actually gave my life to the Lord after our time in jail. And I have a family and I’m going strong with Jesus. So, even at my lowest point, God was able to use me to touch that life.
So, while I was in Japan, that kind of led to my current career. I was really involved in slide shows and graphic design and narration. I didn’t grow up wanting to be in radio, but while I was there recording a narration for this slideshow, the guy at the Arab army base there in Japan said, well, you’ve got a good voice. You should do radio. So, I always remembered that, but I was older. I was in my mid-twenties. Most people get into radio in their teens or early twenties. And I thought about that came home from Japan had to, had to get a job quick. And so, I was painting houses, and that was getting old really fast. And I went to a broadcasting school, and again, back to thinking back to these childhood friends, one of them had started working here at the radio station. He ran KCMS at the time, Scott Thunder. I thought I have an in with a Christian radio station right here in my own hometown. He didn’t hire me right away but then one day the overnight position back in radio was 24 hours a day with somebody having to man it. So, I finally got my my break came in, worked overnights, worked my way up to full-time.
And in my first year, a full-time Christian DJ, I had a really interesting experience in, you know, wanting to help people and had taking phone calls and I was kind of scammed. Which turned out later, but this person was acting like they were people wanting salvation, wanting to say the sinner’s prayer.
And I prayed with several of these persons. Well, come to find out later it was all the same person, kind of channeling different voices. And a real creepy, a strange time in my life. Early part of my Christian service here at CRISTA Media, KCMS. And it scared me. When I finally came, came about that, this was just all a, an attack of a witch and a coven. And so, it really woke me up to the spiritual battle, you know, that we don’t even realize is going on. Ironically, this was a, the time. Frank Peretti’s books called this present darkness were very popular and interesting. Frank Peretti was one of the first people I ever interviewed as a DJ working at a Christian radio. And I had no idea the connection it had to what was really going on in my own life with spiritual warfare.
So, coming off that experience, I felt like, boy, I need to get to know some real people. And that led to my meeting, Jenny, the receptionist at broadcasting. She thought I was the facilities guy because I would come in to get my paycheck in my white overalls, cause I was still painting as well as doing the radio thing. And she later said, boy, I think that that guy needs a wife. Not knowing that I was actually the overnight DJ. And that led to our office romance and marriage a few years later. And that kind of set me on my course here at at radio. Was working with KCMS different shifts on KCMS evenings overnights mid days then in the mid-nineties, I was went over to KCIS, the am station here, and have been part of that ever since. I also did a lot of voice work on our FM station in Canada, PRAISE 106.5. Even had an opportunity in the mid-nineties to work at the big country station in town, new country, KMPS. Got a taste of what it’s like to work at a popular mainstream radio station. Met tall Paul there at the time. He was part of. Waking crew with Ichabod Kane. Had no idea. I’d run, run into Paul back here at CRISTA the last few years, as he’s come to work for SPIRIT, as he’s known to us as Paul Fredricks, these days. Funny how things work like that in radio. But even though I had the opportunity to work at that station, a secular station, I just always have called to Christian radio. There’s something much more significant about sharing the good news and sharing about Jesus on the radio. And I felt that that really fit my identity and my motivation. And all this time though, I think the Lord has just, he kind of grew me and my faith at CRISTA. I was very into the end times, things like that. And I think that the Lord would just want to meet a, why don’t you just worry about this time, and your life for the Lord at this time? When I had that DUI, several of them actually earlier in life, I was exposed to more of a 12-step kind of recovery approach to getting over some of these things in your life. That helped me a lot to get through more of a discipling kind of approach to getting hang ups in your life gone. And doing so much better these days. And just the future, I think is I never thought I’d be at CRISTA this long. I’ve had some great opportunities just in the last 10 years, got to know real dynamically.
Carrie Abbott who hosts a radio show now on another station, unfortunately. So, so I’m saying Lord, what next? And I think what I want to do with my service here at CRISTA and KCIS is just learning how to unify Christians. So many strange things going on on our world with the pandemic, and God has put me in a, such a time as this, to help with that, I hope.
We’ll, we’ll see what happens. But I’m glad to be here. And glad that Jesus is Lord, and he has, he has answers for this world and we need him more than ever. I think both as individuals and as a world, a word, if Jesus isn’t real, then this world is a goner. And want to try and make a difference through Christian radio and through my part in it. And I would just say to you, if you’re looking for answers in your life, talk to somebody. Talk to a friend, call, even call a Christian DJ here, texted Christian DJ, and they’ll reach back to you with love, and point you in the right way.
Thank you for listening. I hope my story helps you in your journey of being brought back to life, and Easter is a great time of year for that.
Narrator: We are telling these stories of transformation so you can know and understand the power of Jesus in your own life. If you’d like to learn more about Jesus and how he can bring you back to life, visit us at on purposely.com/who is Jesus. You can follow Brought Back To Life on apple podcasts, I heart radio, or wherever you’re listening right now. Thanks for listening to Brought Back To Life from Purposely.
